半梦半醒的人生

为什么说是“内时间意识”呢？

其实这个词放在这里是很不妥当的，深究起来，我就变成现象学的罪人和玩弄者了。

但是在《waking life》中确实不存在——即使存在，也被巧妙地掩盖住了——正常的时间。

主角一直在徘徊、画面也一直在徘徊，观众被诱进语言织体的陷阱：只有语言，庞大的且看似杂乱无章的大段独白才是观众有可能把握的——纵然杂乱，却未脱离语法，而在情节和画面中，我们甚至可以说，整部影片都是支离破碎的臆想。

这是导演的恶意抑或目的？

或许导演同时希望观众放弃情节，把全部精力投入庄之蝶的禅机。

他根本没这个必要，愿意花时间两遍三遍看片子的人根本不会在意什么狗屁情节，这种人都是偏执狂，否则他们宁愿找一张tango唱片听一下算了（顺便说一句，背景音乐恰如其分地选择了能够凸现疲惫、紧张、忧虑和努力把握一丝理性的情绪的tango，太棒了）。

在豆瓣上溜达一圈，觉得应该有人好好说的说的本片，无奈只能由我这个懒人暂且充当一下这个角色了，咳咳。

【欢迎潜下去的比我还懒的人来批评指导扔板砖】这部电影一下抓住了我，我承认，是有很多主观色彩在里面的，对梦的研究，量子物理，自由论，关于生活，存在，还有人与人的交流方式，都是我非常感兴趣也是一直在关注的问题。

所以看到这部电影真的非常想跪在地上，捧着盘，仰头45度，瀑布泪，还要在脑袋顶上打个光的。

所以与其说这是一部电影，更像是一种交流，像涉及语言起源话题的那个女的说的那样，人类有各种各样的交流模式，而这部电影就是其中之一，是导演在世纪交界之处希望传到一个强有力的信号，而如果你能接受到信号的话，就不会觉得这是满头雾水的对白了，而是，你也是对话之中积极的参与者。

首先，关于梦。

一段时间，我总是再做同一个梦，梦见自己在飞，我可以控制气流，轻轻向下踩一下，就会上升，可以控制高度，控制速度，控制降落，一切，就像真的在飞一样。

一直对佛洛依德梦的解释很感兴趣，得知这叫醒梦，也就是电影里多次提到的lucid dream，这是梦一种比较高级的状态，在这种梦的状态之中，梦者是对自己的梦有掌控能力的，可以思考，可以判断，可以行动，并不一定是飞翔，飞翔是一种少有的状态，可以仅仅就像是电影里那样就是进入一个又一个日常生活的情节之中，但是对自己的梦有部分掌控能力，并且这种能力可以主观上得以训练，控制梦的能力也就更强，我一直在对自己做这些有趣实验，也确实有不少收获。

而关于梦与现实，一直以来都是一个很有意思的话题。

我们是在梦中还是在现实中，怎样才能确定我们不是从一个梦中醒来，却进入了另一个梦中，怎样才能区分梦境与现实？

这个话题又可以被我非常主观的解释为——怎样才能有真正的存在感？

我看过两个对这个话题最有意思的探讨；一个是米兰昆德拉，他既提出了问题，也解决了问题，提问和答案还都是一样的，那就是——生活，永远在别处。

另外一个就是这部电影啦，很巧妙的是，导演的提问和回答也都在题目里了，那就是Waking Life.但其实这部电影的剧情不仅仅是一个个梦那么简单，若是真的要很客观的从电影内部的心理学角度来分析的话，我偏向于整部电影都是男主角死亡之前的思想停留，跟stay的剧情框架是一致的。

关于人死前的的意识存在的问题，片中也有简短介绍，简单说来就是当人的机体已经死亡之后，大脑还会有5分钟左右的生存时间，而这短短的几分钟，在思维的过程中可以是几个月，甚至几年的时间线，而大脑这段时间的运作其实于梦非常类似，都是潜意识的记忆空间的思维活动，能够反映出最基本的心理和渴望。

本片也正是如此，其中几处暗示有，1.电影刚开始男主角搭车后被撞，2.Jesse 和Céline在床上讨论人死前的意识停留，以及3.最后男主角发现自己无法从一个有一个梦中醒来，推断自己可能已经死了。

这些都应合理的推理为，(加上我的部分主观推测），男主角车祸身亡，但是由于他壮年夭折，对生活抱有诸多疑问亟待解决，（好吧，这两句是搞笑用的）所以潜意识里渴望能够得到一个答案，于是在幻觉世界里产生了大量此类话题的对白，其中夹杂着一些生前的记忆碎片，和临死一瞬间的回忆。

在对具体内容展开之前，我想先提醒大家，有没有注意到不知道在电影哪分钟里男主角的一句台词，（好吧，我是非常不负责任的影评者，大概是跟那个地下道里遇见的女人的对话里），他说，他进入了很多对话之中，这些对话似乎都是在讨论一个主题。。。

当当当当一个华丽的切入点。

所有这些不同的话题，你说他涉及了物理学也好，生物进化学也好，哲学，心理学，甚至法学，政治，民主，自由，等等似乎触类旁通，但其实仅仅是一个话题，导演只想跟我们说明一件事情，但这件事情之所以导演没有那么直白的用语言的形式明确表达出来，而仅仅是暗示，是因为，对于不同观影主题来说，会有不同的理解与看法，而仅仅明确提出这个主题，就会把这个主题的范围大大狭隘化了。

（貌似我现在就在大大狭隘这个主体，呃。。。

）如果让我总结的话，我会说，整个话题都是关于Life的，（我无法直接翻译这个词，因为译成，生命，生活，生存都不够妥当）也就是电影名字的后半部分。

（关于前半部分，我会稍后说明）如果要剖析每一段对话的话，这个影评就会有一个很难看的长度了，（这是我非常不希望发生的）因为导演在这么一部短短的电影中想表达的东西太多了，所以我就抓我认为的重点来说了。

整个电影最核心的一个人物，是在大桥上高呼：Life is not a dream! be aware, and be aware,and be aware! 的那位仁兄，并且据推断这个人物的形象很有可能就是导演本身。

其中关于认知和life他说，他并不完全赞同某某的观点（原谅我忘记那哥们叫什么了，并且很无知的不知道他是谁），而说，Life understood is life lived.(这也就正是本片的一个中心思想吧，啊，回到小学语文课的感觉真好啊）。

无论拥有怎样的人生，混混沌沌都是可耻的，就算是在清醒的”现实“状态之中，毫无知觉的渡日，如在半睡半醒之中，（所谓waking，电影名字的前半部分） 那又与真正睡梦相差几何呢？

但是这世界上有多少人是在这种所谓的半梦半醒的状态之中的呢？

如果真的要去计数的话，得到的只可能是一个残酷的数字。

地铁上多少面无表情的朝九晚五上班族，多少自觉欣慰穿着“白领”奔波的灵魂，早已忘了自己年轻时的初衷与梦想，多少大学校园里荒废时光的“新世纪接班人”。

还有多少高考考场里渴望着自己理想的院校的孩子。

等等，你以为这就是有目的，有意识的行为么？

哦，不， 我们早就在社会中被摆弄了。

整体的社会价值观就是，一个孩子，应该接受教育，应该在学校取得好的成绩，应该上一个一说名字大家都能知道的大学，应该在大学毕业之后找到一份收入可观的工作，等等等等。

虽然不可否认这可以是一种正确的人生轨迹，但是我们的人生，还是我们清醒的状态下（非梦的状态下）的选择么？

这是我们的自由意志么？

我们有选择的权利和自由么？

还是这是我们从小就被社会灌输的一种所谓正确的生活观？

或者说是在潜在的社会观念下的束缚下的非自由状态？

这就应了电影里另一位仁兄，谈及自由问题的时候问道：有没有真正的自由可言？

连我们的思考都是在尊崇所有人一致的思考程序，无非不是大脑中几个电流蹦出的火花，那我们又怎样才能摆脱这些本身就赋予在我们身上的枷锁，获得真正的自由呢？

当然这种绝对的消极主义是不可取的，谁都知道大家微观的思维过程是一致的，但是主观意识却占有更主要的比重。

毕竟苹果砸在有的人的脑袋上，能够发现万有引力，砸在我的脑袋上就肯定不行。

毕竟有的人脑袋里就能突然显现出E=mc^2，在有的人脑袋里就只能是狭隘的金钱占有欲，嫉妒，贪婪与懒惰。

但是过分乐观也是不可取的，这种潜在的社会枷锁在一定程度上虽然束缚了自由意志，但却不能否认的保障了一定的社会秩序。

换句话说，在现在的这个时代，这种有点扭曲有点病态的社会状态还是可以被接受的，借用马克思的话就是：还迎合现在所谓的生产力。

只是有一部分人会在这样的生活状态中感到极端的孤独，有的人会觉得矛盾，有的人会与整个社会格格不入，但是随着时间消逝，这一部分人中又有一部分人学会了接受和迎合，慢慢走近了社会的大圈子里，真正的问题仅存在于少数自以为文艺的青年中。

这部分人活在未来的时代当中，就像梵高毕加索不能被自己的年代赏识，就像艾米丽狄耿森的诗在自己的时代活不下去，就像一直在黑暗中踽踽独行的鲁迅，把时间狠狠往前推，就像公元前就在渴望理想国的柏拉图，像渴望完美仁君的孔孟，还有完全脱世的老庄。

在自己的年代中，都是那样的格格不入。

是时代的问题，不久的将来或是很久之后的将来，当这种问题变成社会普遍问题的时候，就意味着，革命又将到来。

你可以说我像尼采一样唯心，一样疯狂，但是这种你认为可取也可以认为不可取的意识本身的价值是不可估量的。

最后再回到电影当中，再回到梦的话题上来。

我也想站在桥上高喊：Life is not a dream, be aware, be aware, and be aware! 也许鲁迅也好，导演也好，我也好，都仅仅是想站起来，高声吼一下，就算能够唤醒一个“半睡半醒”中的人也好啊。

其实无论是昆德拉也好，本片导演也好，答案都是一样的—— 真正重要的不是区分到底是在睡梦中还是清醒着，重要的是能够自由思考，确定自己认为有价值有意义的事情，为之追求，不被周围意志所动摇，并且能够时刻清晰的意识到自己的行为还在自己原始的轨道上。

这样，就算现在所经历的状态仅仅是一个梦，也不枉此行了。

Life understood is life lived! 我再加上一句，让它逻辑上更完整，Dream understood is dream dreamed!PS 电影还有一个很厉害的地方就是，对白那么多！！！

开头30分钟，男主角基本上没说过话。。。。。

摇晃的城市，虚浮的建筑，或明或暗的灯光，漂浮的桌子，抽象化的人物，带着魔幻色彩与不真实感，构成了半梦半醒的人生。

想要传达的主题大概是人生如一梦，人生便是由迷离的梦与清醒构成的，人行于世，相逢即是有缘，我们的主角没有姓名，姓名又有何用，的确，在浮生一梦的状态下，姓名只是一个代号，而真正有意义的是人本身，我们跟着主角走过一个又一个真实或虚幻的场景，不断的做梦，清醒，做梦复又清醒，陷入奇妙的循环。

形式是表达思想的一种手段，动画化的人物，粗犷的线条，不加细修，大块粗糙的色彩，不甚精细的细节，与日常稳固相反的摇晃，不完美的效果反而是这部电影的完美，也是魅力所在。

跟着主角踏上梦的旅程，遇到奇怪的人和事，然后由梦中的危险情景一下子醒来，采取的是典型的由梦中清醒的模式。

清醒片刻，不知何时就又进入一个又一个的梦境，梦境中出现最多的场景是与人交谈，交谈对象是哲学家，历史学家，人类学家，而这些人讲述的道理能够听懂却理解不了，让人云里雾里的。

或者是非主角的两个人在谈话，设计的大多是人生、生命之类的大问题。

一度以为是现实的时候，主角又从梦中清醒。

电影的后半部分与心理学家关于梦的解析有异曲同工之妙：梦与死亡的密切关系，梦境中的情境与现实生活中发生的尤其相似，梦境的联结等都让人思考。

让我冷汗涔涔的是关于解释如何从梦中清醒的那一部分，主角与人会面，谈到梦境中的开关是不起作用的，主角临走前，随手动了一下门边的开关，明亮的灯光不变，证实这是一个梦境。

梦中有梦，无穷无尽，让我想到盗梦空间。

梦境曲折离奇，或关于自己，或关于他人，梦的频繁出现让人难以区分梦境与现实，如庄周梦蝶，不知是庄周在蝶的梦中，还是蝶在庄周的梦中。

人生如梦，太过匆匆，你我皆过客，若庄周，若蝶。

专门下载了看，开头就很吸引人，可爱的小朋友，天上划过的彗星，也许那时候起就是梦境。

之后被各色人的言论轮番轰炸，傻眼，好吧，只需继续跟着看，不同的毫无关联的人物登场，讲述他们对生活对生命对哲理对万物之理的论述，导演都上场了好嘛，一度看观影时间，想什么时候才能结束，或许如果这是我的梦，那真是也会期待早点醒来。

梦境不都总是多线性交错发展的吗，时间概念模糊，却又一刻不停的叙事演进，突然就掉入另个场景、不同人物交织进来，云云诺诺，由不得你弄明白缘由，即又进入下一个梦谜里。

对应之前看的《Lucy》，世间真理都在片中了，只需自己看完慢慢理解。

奇怪，昨晚睡觉，会想到这个电影，也记不清是在睡前还是入梦中时，那些人物的只字片语会作回想。

这感受未免既奇异又深刻，无可名状的附着感，想逃避又身同感受。

我会再看一次的。

H2 2015.1.2 晚

本片由导演兼编剧理查德•林克莱特采用DV真人拍摄，并用软件将其“动画化”。

导演史蒂文•索德伯格亦在片中出现。

青年学生维利•维金斯童年时曾从小伙伴那里得到这样一个预言：“梦即命运”。

长大后，他在恍恍惚惚间来到了一座陌生的城市。

维利走街串巷，经历各种各样的神奇体验，仿佛穿梭于不同的梦中。

电影运用了革命性的方法制造动画效果，试用了新颖的电影制作技术，真人拍摄转制成动画，并配以用大段独白或对白来表达哲理命题，如同一席抚慰性的话语，睿智、启迪、充满悬念又富于想象。

影片色彩被简化，线条和色块像波浪一样蠕动，视觉明亮，形象鲜活。

喜欢这样话唠式探讨人生的电影，果然同一导演同男女主演同种风格。

不过这一部涉及更广，不仅仅是哲学了，还有科学物理学生物学符号学，更难理解，不过这些即使理解了也不懂。

所以大部分人看后的感觉是“许多道理都懂，仍过不好这一生。

”虽然也有这样的感觉，但不觉得这部电影是告诉我们什么道理，更倾向它只是想把导演他们对这个社会对这个世界一切的困扰和迷惑展示，是一种述说，是一种“我也不知道”的感觉。

半梦半醒，好像人人都可以对人生进行一番探索和评价，谈人生谈生命谈哲学谈各种抽象概念，随时随地，与陌生的或熟悉的，随心所欲，其实每个人也都在找那个能说得上话的人，谁都可以成为倾诉的对象，而现实的我们大多缺少这种勇气，肆无忌惮地交流和把内心感受全说出，不敢随便拉一个人就说出自己真实的想法。

而在电影里却可以毫无掩饰毫无保留着述说，不管对方听不听得懂，也不是为得到回应或为解答而提问，仅仅这些都是困惑。

台词真的好赞，喜欢瞎记录，找不到全部完整台词，自己记录的也是比较触动和简单方便思考的。

即使看不懂，即使记录下来思考过后也依然困惑，甚至越来越困惑，我们或许懂了只是我们以为的懂，或许我们真的不懂，未来某个时刻突然懂了。

然后又变得困惑，或者又在其他事情上突然一个机灵懂了，这会不会是我们一个成长和成熟的表现呢？

部分台词：“梦想是命运。

”“你越把一个人谈论成一个社会构造者或众势力的汇合体，或零碎的或脱离社会的，你就会说出一大堆的借口。

”“你要与众不同，首先，从物质方面与众不同，与其他人不同，给他们树立榜样，我们不能轻易做失自我，把自己看成众多势力的牺牲品，我们要自我定位。

”“创造产生于瑕疵，产生于斗争和挫折，这就是我认为语言的由来，我的意思是，它产生于超越自我孤立的愿望，也有某种彼此之间的关系，当它只要简单的生存，它就必须简单。

当它变成真正有趣的时候，我认为是我们用同样的符号系统来交流，所有的我们经历的抽象的和无形的事物的时候了。

”“文字是惰性的，它们只是些符号，他们是死的，懂吗？

很多感受都是无形的。

很多事物我们只能意会，不能言传。

然后，当我们在彼此交流时，我们感到彼此连在了一起，我们认为彼此都能明白对方，我们认为我们几乎有种精神交流的感觉，这种感觉是短暂的却是我们离不开的。

”“新的进化模式将赋予我们真实、忠诚，正义和自由的人类特征，这些将成为新型进化的表现，因此，这是我们所希望看到的，那将是美好的。

”“我们的自由只是一种可能性，只是在无序的状态下的突然改变，这好像更糟，我宁愿自己是在一个稳定的物质机器上的一个齿轮，而不是一些突然的改变，所以我们不能忽视这个问题，我们只能用我们的当代世界观给人们找点空间，用所有的必需的，不是对肉体，而是对人，那就意味着去解决问题，为选择和责任寻找空间，试着独立的理解。

”“艺术不是目的，而只是诱因和方法，定位我们特殊的旋律，消磨我们的时间，对真实的交流的发现就在其中，至少是在寻找这种交流，发现或丢失的冒险，没得到满足和承认的我们继续在寻觅，用自己的愿望，害怕和幻想消除寂寞。

在这种不管世界看上去多空虚，不管这世界对我们来说是如何的退化和枯竭的事实的驱使下，我们懂得什么事都有可能，在合适的环境下，新的世界很有可能和旧的一样。

”“世上有两种受折磨的人，一种人是缺乏生活，另外的人是生活过于沉重。

后者和动物没有太大差别。

”“什么阻止人们发挥他们的真正潜能，答案在另一个问题之中，那就是，什么是最普遍的人类特征，畏惧还是懒惰？

”“你要了解你首先梦到的是什么，你开始能去认识它，你开始能去问你自己，嘿，这是在做梦吗。

”“电影就其本质，是现实的再现，就是像是现实真的再生一样。

电影实际上拍下的是，像上帝的化身和创造。

电影就像对上帝的记录或上帝的脸或是不断变化的上帝的脸。

整个好莱坞拍电影尽力去做这个讲故事的媒体，拍电影不应该基于剧本，而是应该基于人和事，从那种层面上说，他们差不多形成了那种明星体制，因为电影是对人而不是关于那个故事。

特吕福常说最好的电影不一定有最好的剧本，最好的剧本不能拍出最好的电影。

因为他们带有文字叙述的事，你会受制于它，最好的电影是不会受制于剧本的。

电影总有叙述性，因为它有时间限制，就像音乐里有叙述一样，你不会首先想到一个歌的故事然后再写歌，它产生于那些瞬间，那就是电影所有的，就是那个神圣的瞬间，这神圣的瞬间在我们的周围并不神圣。

电影会让我们看到这种瞬间，我们可以把它框出来去领会它，神圣，一个接一个瞬间。

”“一千年只是一个瞬间，没什么新的，不同的事物，只是在不断的重复当中，同样的云同样的音乐，对一小时或来生有着同样的感觉。

”“你已经开始寻找答案，尽管有些困难，但回报是丰厚的，尽可能彻底的练习你的思想，知道这只是练习，创造美好的东西，解决问题，探索物质世界的奥秘，感受一切喜怒哀乐，提着你装满情感记忆的旅行袋，我记得我从哪里来，如何变成人，为何我留在附近，我最后的启程已经指日可待，以逃脱的速度离开，不仅是来世，而且要永恒。

”“生命就是一个随着时光流逝，而积累起来奇迹，是那些彼此之间存在的令人吃惊的瞬间的积累。

世界就是一场考察你是否能超越你直接的经历的考试，测试我们能不能超越你所看到的，实质考察的是我们的好奇心，疑惑考察的是我们的活力。

汤玛斯·曼恩写道，他是融入到生活中去，而不是写一百个故事。

”“一种假设说你不能够在生活的同时懂得生活。

而我会说，理解生活本身就是在生活。

”“记忆远比遗忘更能体现一种精神的行为。

罗卡在同一首诗中写道，鼠蜥会咬那些不做梦的人。

当他意识到他是另外一个人梦中的人物，那就是自知之明。

”“你从未遇见你自己，但同时遇见他人的优势，是他们中的一个会将你展现给你自己。

检查你观察的万事的本质。

”“事实上每个人的生命有种叙述，在不同的现象后面，只有一个故事，那就是从否定到肯定的故事，生活的全部就是:不，谢谢，不，谢谢。

然后最后的结果都会是一样的:是的，我投降，是的，我承认，是的，我信。

”

The philosophical dialogues in this film inspire me to think about the dreamworld and real life. There might be no absolute difference from waking and sleeping mind. On one hand, no one can prove himself awake, and one can never know whether he is dreaming. All are not lucid dreamers like Wiley, therefore the proposition that “Life is not a dream” is not convincing. We might be dreaming without being aware of it.On the other hand, “dreams are only real as long as they last.” It is the same about life. “Life understood is life lived”, and dream understood is dream lived. As long as people endow efforts to think with their own minds, dreamworld and real life are equally worthwhile. This film, by presenting intermediate state as “waking life”, shows the blurring boundary between waking and sleeping mind. We can be all dreaming, but it still counts as a real life since we make efforts to understand it. The sleeping mind operates in a logic of the dreamworld, just as the waking mind operates in real-life logic, and we can never know which one is really “real” .

And then she tells me that actually this is the narrative of everyone's life. That, you know, behind the phenomenal difference, there is but one story, and that's the story of moving from the "no" to the "yes." All of life is like, "No thank you. No thank you. No thank you." then ultimately it's, "Yes, I give in. Yes, I accept. Yes, I embrace." I mean, that's the journey. I mean, everyone gets to the "yes" in the end, right?感触太深。

这部电影的台词本值得一读，我就是来分享个链接的：http://wakinglifemovie.net/

If you see a light switch nearby,see if it works.You can't do that in a lucid dream.影片的始终，都没有出现实拍的场景，彻头彻尾的梦境。

看这部影片的观众，就像是附在主人公灵魂上的跳蚤，跟着他旅行。

不知道这段旅行的起点是哪，也不知道何时会结束。

一切都随着他的潜意识，有时候顺延，时而跳跃。

梦境，就该是这样的吧。

像是串联一些无厘头的故事，自己捏造一些人物，看上去活生生的面容清晰，但当仔细想认出他们脸庞的时候却觉得他们的五官会变化流动无法捕捉,越来越模糊。

导演高明地将实拍的场景动画处理化，于是人物和周遭的事物都在晃动游离，失去重心的世界也许是这样的。

手持DV拍摄出的抖动效果恰到好处地安在了这里。

会不会我们做梦的时候我们其实都在月球上呢？

摆脱了肉体的重量，21克的物质很轻易地加速到超越光速，于是往返于各个星球，各个时代....而造成梦境的一片混乱。

才知道Julie Delpy在除了《Before sunrise》和《Before sunset》那两部影片中还在这里出现了，尽管动画人物的身份，辨别出她还是比较容易的，影片中的类似废话的哲理独白很多，她的一段话挺有趣也挺引人深思，这似乎从日出之前那部就是开始困扰这个导演的问题：About reincarnation,and where all the new souls come from over time.Everybody always says they're the reincarnation of Cleopatra or Alexander the Great.You know they were a dumb fuck like everyone else.I mean,it's impossible.The world population has doubled in the past 40 years.So if you believe in that ego thing of one eternal soul you have 50% chance of your soul being over 40.For it to be over 150 years old,it's only one out of six......I believe reincanation is a poetic expression of what collective memory is....I read an article by a biochemist not long ago.He said when a member of a species is born it has a billion years of memory to draw on.This is where we inherit our instincts.影片结束时，一段旅行也结束，一场共鸣也结束，我下意识地按了两下台灯的开关，确定了自己的处境。

"Dream is destiny."Rock out.Rock and roll.Go, strings. Begin.Sara, will you try that, the thing you asked me about?- Yeah. - Will you try it a little more subdued?- Okay. - Vibrato. Just try it and see what you think.But what I want--I mean, I want it to sound rich and maybe almost a little wavy...due to being slightly out of tune.- Do you want it, um-- - I think it should be slightly detached.That's what I was wondering.Yeah, yeah, you got it.Snazzy.Okay, pick up to 20 please.- Erik, this is a pickup to 20. - Okay.1, 2, 3.Hey, man, it's me. Um, I just got back into town.I thought maybe I could bum a ride off you or something, but that's cool.I could probably just take a cab, something like that. Um--Yeah, I guess I'll hang out with you later, something like that.Ahoy there, matey! You in for the long haul?You need a little hitch in your get-along, a little lift on down the line?Oh, um, yeah, actually, I was waiting for a cab or something, but if you want to--All right. Don't miss the boat.- Hey, thanks. - Not a problem.Anchors aweigh!So what do you think of my little vessel?She's what we call "see-worthy." S-E-E. See with your eyes.I feel like my transport should be an extension of my personality.Voila. And this? This is like my little window to the world,and every minute, it's a different show.Now, I may not understand it. I may not even necessarily agree with it.But I'll tell you what, I accept it and just sort of glide along.You want to keep things on an even keel I guess is what I'm saying.You want to go with the flow. The sea refuses no river.The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving.Saves on introductions and good-byes.The ride does not require an explanation.Just occupants. That's where you guys come in.It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box.Now, you may get the 8-pack, you may get the 16-pack.But it's all in what you do with the crayons,the colors that you're given.Don't worry about drawing within the lines or coloring outside the lines.I say color outside the lines. Color right off he page.Don't box me in. We're in motion to the ocean.We are not landlocked, I'll tell ya that.So where do you want out?Uh, who, me? Am I first?Um, I don't know. Really, anywhere is fine.Well, just--just give me an address or something, okay?Tell you what, go up three more streets,take a right, go two more blocks,drop this guy off on the next corner.- Where's that? - I don't know either, but it's somewhere,and it's gonna determine the course of the rest of your life.All ashore that's going ashore.Toot toot!The reason why I refuse to take existentialism...as just another French fashion or historical curiosity...is that I think it has something very important to offer us for the new century.I 'm afraid we're losing the real virtues of living life passionately,the sense of taking responsibility for who you are,the ability to make something of yourself and feeling good about life.Existentialism is often discussed as if it's a philosophy of despair.But I think the truth is just the opposite.Sartre once interviewed said he never really felt a day of despair in his life.But one thing that comes out from reading these guys...is not a sense of anguish about life so much as...a real kind of exuberance of feeling on top of it.It's like your life is yours to create.I've read the post modernists with some interest, even admiration.But when I read them, I always have this awful nagging feeling...that something absolutely essential is getting left out.The more that you talk about a person as a social construction...or as a confluence of forces...or as fragmented or marginalized,what you do is you open up a whole new world of excuses.And when Sartre talks about responsibility,he's not talking about something abstract.He's not talking about the kind of self or soul that theologians would argue about.It's something very concrete. It's you and me talking.Making decisions. Doing things and taking the consequences.It might be true that there are six billion people in the world and counting.Nevertheless, what you do makes a difference.It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms.Makes a difference to other people and it sets an example.In short, I think the message here is...that we should never simply write ourselves off...and see ourselves as the victim of various forces.It's always our decision who we are.Creation seems to come out of imperfection.I t seems to come out of a striving and a frustration.And this is where I think language came from.I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation...and have some sort of connection with one another.And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival.Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that.Or, "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that.But when it gets really interesting, I think,is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate...all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing.What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love?When I say "love,"the sound comes out of my mouth...and it hits the other person's ear,travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain,you know, through their memories of love or lack of love,and they register what I'm saying and say yes, they understand.But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert.They're just symbols. They're dead, you know?And so much of our experience is intangible.So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable.And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another,and we--we feel that we have connected,and we think that we're understood,I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion.And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.If wee looking at the highlights of human development,you have to look at the evolution of the organism...and then at the development of its interaction with the environment.Evolution of the organism will begin with the evolution of life...perceived through the hominid...coming to the evolution of mankind.Neanderthal, Cro-Magnon man.Now, interestingly, what youe looking at here are three strings:biological, anthropological--development of the cities, cultures--and cultural, which is human expression.Now, what youe seen here is the evolution of populations,not so much the evolution of individuals.And in addition, if you look at the time scales that's involved here--two billion years for life,six million years for the hominid,years for mankind as we know it--you're beginning to see the telescoping nature of the evolutionary paradigm.And then when you get to agricultural,when you get to scientific revolution and industrial revolution,you're looking at years, years, years.You're seeing a further telescoping of this evolutionary time.What that means is that as we go through the new evolution,it's gonna telescope to the point we should be able to see it manifest itself...within our lifetime, within this generation.The new evolution stems from information,and it stems from two types of information: digital and analog.The digital is artificial intelligence.The analog results from molecular biology, the cloning of the organism.And you knit the two together with neurobiology.Before on the old evolutionary paradigm,one would die and the other would grow and dominate.But under the new paradigm, they would exist...as a mutually supportive, noncompetitive grouping.Okay, independent from the external.And what is interesting here is that evolution now becomes an individually centered process,emanating from the needs and the desires of the individual,and not an external process, a passive process...where the individual is just at the whim of the collective.So, you produce a neo-human with a new individuality and a new consciousness.But that's only the beginning of the evolutionary cycle...because as the next cycle proceeds,the input is now this new intelligence.As intelligence piles on intelligence,as ability piles on ability, the speed changes.Until what? Until you reach a crescendo in a way...could be imagined as an enormous instantaneous fulfillment of human,human and neo-human potential.It could be something totally different.It could be the amplification of the individual,the multiplication of individual existences.Parallel existences now with the individual no longer restricted by time and space.And the manifestations of this neo-human-type evolution,manifestations could be dramatically counter-intuitive.That's the interesting part. The old evolution is cold.It's sterile. It's efficient, okay?And its manifestations are those social adaptations.You're talking about parasitism, dominance, morality, okay?Uh, war, predation, these would be subject to de-emphasis.These would be subject to de-evolution.The new evolutionary paradigm will give us the human traits of truth, of loyalty,of justice, of freedom.These will be the manifestations of the new evolution.That is what we would hope to see from this. That would be nice.A self-destructive man feels completely alienated, utterly alone.He's an outsider to the human community.He thinks to himself, "I must be insane."What he fails to realize is that society has, just as he does,a vested interest in considerable losses and catastrophes.These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well-defined needs.Man wants chaos.In fact, he's gotta have it.Depression, strife, riots, murder, all this dread.We're irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state...created out of death and destruction.It's in all of us. We revel in it.Sure, the media tries to put a sad face on these things,painting them up as great human tragedies.But we all know the function of the media has never been...to eliminate the evils of the world, no.Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.The powers that be want us to be passive observers.Hey, you got a match?And they haven't given us any other options...outside the occasional, purely symbolic,participatory act of voting.You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left?I feel that the time has come to project my own...inadequacies and dissatisfactions...into the sociopolitical and scientific schemes,Let my own lack of a voice be heard.I keep thinking about something you said.- Something I said? - Yeah.About how you often feel like you're observing your life...from the perspective of an old woman about to die.- You remember that? - Yeah. I still feel that way sometimes.Like I'm looking back on my life.Like my waking life is her memories.Exactly.I heard that Tim Leary said as he was dying...that he was looking forward to the moment...when his body was dead, but his brain was still alive.They say that there's still to minutes of brain activity after everything is shut down.And a second of dream consciousness, right,well, that's infinitely longer than a waking second.- You know what I'm saying? - Oh, yeah, definitely.For example, I wake up and it's : and then I go back to sleep and I have those long, intricate,beautiful dreams that seem to last for hours,and then I wake up and it's... : .Exactly. So then to minutes of brain activity,I mean, that could be your whole life.I mean, you are that woman looking back over everything.Okay, so what if I am? Then what would you be in all that?Whatever I am right now.I mean, yeah, maybe I only exist in your mind.I'm still just as real as anything else.Yeah.- I've been thinking also about something you said. - What's that?Just about reincarnation and where all the new souls come from over time.Everybody always say that they've been the reincarnation...of Cleopatra or Alexander the Great.I always want to tell them they were probably some dumb fuck like everybody else.I mean, it's impossible. Think about it.The world population has doubled in the past years, right?- So if you really believe in that ego thing of one eternal soul, - Mm-hmm.then you only have a % chance of your soul being over .And for it to be over years old, then it's only one out of six.So what are you saying then? Reincarnation doesn't exist...or that we're all young souls like where half of us are first-round humans?No, no. What I'm trying to say is that somehow I believe...reincarnation is just a--a poetic expression of what collective memory really is.There was this article by this biochemist that I read not long ago,and he was talking about how when a member of a species is born,it has a billion years of memory to draw on.And this is where we inherit our instincts.I like that. It's like there's, um,this whole telepathic thing going on that wee all a part of,whether wee conscious of it or not.That would explain why there's all these, you know,seemingly spontaneous, worldwide, innovative leaps in science, in the arts.You know, like the same results poppin' up everywhere independent of each other.Some guy on a computer, he figures something out,and then almost simultaneously, a bunch of other people all over the world...- figure out the same thing. - Mm-hmm.They did this study. They isolated a group of people over time,and they monitored their abilities at crossword puzzles...in relation to the general population.And then they secretly gave them a day-old crossword,one that had already been answered by thousands of other people.Their scores went up dramatically, like percent.So it's like once the answers are out there,you know, people can pick up on 'em.It's like we're all telepathically sharing our experiences.I'll get you motherfuckers if it's the last thing I do.Oh, you're gonna pay for what you did to me.For every second I spend in this hellhole,I'll see you spend a year in living hell!Oh, you fucks are gonna beg me to let you die.No, no, not yet.I want you cocksuckers to suffer.Oh, I'll fix your fuckin' asses, all right.Maybe a long needle in your eardrum.A hot cigar in your eye.Nothin' fancy.Some molten lead up the ass.Ooh!Or better still,some of that old Apache shit.Cut your eyelids off. Yeah.I'll just listen to you fucks screamin'.Oh, what sweet music that'll be.Yeah. We'll do it in the hospital.With doctors and nurses so you pricks don't die on me too quick.You know the best part?The best part is you dick-smokin' faggots will have your eyelids cut off,so youl have to watch me do it to you, yeah.You'll see me bring that cigar closer and closer...to your wide-open eyeball...till you're almost out of your mind.But not quite...'cause I want it to last a long, long time.I want you to know that it's me,that I'm the one that's doin' it to you.Me!And that sissy psychiatrist?What unmitigated ignorance!That old drunken fart of a judge!What a pompous ass!Judge not lestye be judged!All of you pukes are gonna die the day I get out of this shithole!I guarantee youl regret the day you met me!In a way, in our contemporary world view,It's easy to think that science has come to take the place of God.But some philosophical problems remain as troubling as ever.Take the problem of free will.This problem's been around for a long time,since before Aristotle in B.C.St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas,these guys all worried about how we can be free...if God already knows in advance everything you're gonna do.Nowadays we know that the world operates according to some fundamental physical laws,and these laws govern the behavior of every object in the world.Now, these laws, because they're so trustworthy,they enable incredible technological achievements.But look at yourself. We're just physical systems too.We're just complex arrangements of carbon molecules.We're mostly water,and our behavior isn't gonna be an exception to basic physical laws.So it starts to look like whether it's God setting things up in advance...and knowing everything you're gonna do...or whether it's these basic physical laws governing everything.There's not a lot of room left for freedom.So now you might be tempted to just ignore the question,ignore the mystery of free will.Say, "Oh, well, it's just an historical anecdote. It's sophomoric.It's a question with no answer. Just forget about it."But the question keeps staring you right in the face.You think about individuality, for example, who you are.Who you are is mostly a matter of the free choices that you make.Or take responsibility. You can only be held responsible,you can only be found guilty or admired or respected...for things you did of your own free will.The question keeps coming back, and we don't really have a solution to it.It starts to look like all your decisions are really just a charade.Think about how it happens. There's some electrical activity in your brain.Your neurons fire. They send a signal down into your nervous system.It passes along down into your muscle fibers.They twitch. You might, say, reach out your arm.Looks like it's a free action on your part,but every one of those-- every part of that process...is actually governed by physical law:chemical laws, electrical laws and so on.So now it just looks like the Big Bang set up the initial conditions,and the whole rest of our history,the whole rest of human history and even before,is really just sort of the playing out of subatomic particles...according to these basic fundamental physical laws.We think wee special. We think we have some kind of special dignity,but that now comes under threat.I mean, that's really challenged by this picture.So you might be saying, "Well, wait a minute. What about quantum mechanics?"I know enough contemporary physical theory to know it's not really like that."It's really a probabilistic theory.There's room. It's loose. It's not deterministic."And that's gonna enable us to understand free will.But if you look at the details, it's not really gonna help...because what happens is you have some very small quantum particles,and their behavior is apparently a bit random.They swerve. Their behavior is absurd in the sense that it's unpredictable...and we can't understand it based on anything that came before.It just does something out of the blue, according to a probabilistic framework.But is that gonna help with freedom?Should our freedom just be a matter of probabilities,just some random swerving in a chaotic system?That just seems like it's worse. I'd rather be a gear...in a big deterministic, physical machine...than just some random swerving.So we can't just ignore the problem.We have to find room in our contemporary world view for persons,with all that that it entails; not just bodies, but persons.And that means trying to solve the problem of freedom,finding room for choice and responsibility...and trying to understand individuality.You can't fight city hall, death and taxes.Don't talk about politics or religion.This is all the equivalent of enemy propaganda rolling across the picket line." Lay down, G.I. Lay down, G.I."We saw it all through the th Century.And now in the st Century, it's time to stand up and realize...that we should not allow ourselves to be crammed into this rat maze.We should not submit to dehumanization.I don't know about you, but I'm concerned with what's happening in this world.I'm concerned with the structure.I'm concerned with the systems of control,those that control my life and those that seek to control it even more!I want freedom! That's what I want!And that's what you should want!It's up to each and every one of us to turn loose and just shovel the greed,the hatred, the envy and, yes, the insecurities...because that is the central mode of control-- make us feel pathetic, small...so we'll willingly give up our sovereignty, our liberty, our destiny.We have got to realize that we're being conditioned on a mass scale.Start challenging this corporate slave state!The st Century is gonna be a new century,not the century of slavery, not the century of lies and issues of no significance...and classism and statism and all the rest of the modes of control!It's gonna be the age of humankind...standing up for something pure and something right!What a bunch of garbage-- liberal Democrat, conservative Republican.It's all there to control you. Two sides of the same coin.Two management teams bidding for control!The C.E.O. job of Slavery, Incorporated!The truth is out there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of lies!I'm sick of it, and I'm not gonna take a bite out of it! Do you got me?Resistance is not futile. We're gonna win this thing.Humankind is too good! We're not a bunch of underachievers!We're gonna stand up and we're gonna be human beings!We're gonna get fired up about the real things, the things that matter:creativity and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit!Well, that's it! That's all I got to say! It's in your court.The quest is to be liberated from the negative,which is really our own will to nothingness.And once having said yes to the instant,the affirmation is contagious.It bursts into a chain of affirmations that knows no limit.To say yes to one instant...is to say yes to all of existence.The main character is what you might call "the mind."It's mastery, it's capacity to represent.Throughout history, attempts have been made...to contain those experiences which happen at the edge of the limit...where the mind is vulnerable.But I think we are in a very significant moment in history.Those moments, those what you might call liminal,Limit, frontier, edge zone experiences...are actually now becoming the norm.These multiplicities and distinctions and differences...that have given great difficulty to the old mind...are actually through entering into their very essence,tasting and feeling their uniqueness.One might make a breakthrough to that common something...that holds them together.And so the main character is, to this new mind,greater, greater mind.A mind that yet is to be.And when we are obviously entered into that mode,you can see a radical subjectivity,radical attunement to individuality, uniqueness to that which the mind is,opens itself to a vast objectivity.So the story is the story of the cosmos now.The moment is not just a passing, empty nothing yet.And this is in the way in which these secret passages happen.Yes, it's empty with such fullness...that the great moment, the great life of the universe...is pulsating in it.And each one, each object, each place, each act...Leaves a mark.And that story is singular.But, in fact, it's story after story.Time just dissolves into quick-moving particles that are swirling away.Either I'm moving fast or time is. Never both simultaneously.It's such a strange paradox. I mean, while, technically,I 'm closer to the end of my life than I've ever been,I actually feel more than ever that I have all the time in the world.When I was younger, there was a desperation, a desire for certainty,Like there was an end to the path, and I had to get there.I know what you mean because I can remember thinking,"Oh, someday, like in my mid-thirties maybe,everything's going to just somehow jell and settle, just end."It was like there was this plateau, and it was waiting for me,and I was climbing up it, and when I got to the top,all growth and change would stop.Even exhilaration. But that hasn't happened like that, thank goodness.I think that what we don't take into account when wee young is our endless curiosity.That's what's so great about being human.- You know that thing Benedict Anderson says about identity? - No.Well, he's talking about like, say, a baby picture.So you pick up this picture, this two-dimensional image, and you say, "That's me."Well, to connect this baby in this weird little image...with yourself living and breathing in the present,you have to make up a story like, "This was me when I was a year old,"and later I had long hair, and then we moved to Riverdale,and now here I am."So it takes a story that's actually a fiction...to make you and the baby in the picture identical to create your identity.And the funny thing is, our cells are completely regenerating every seven years.We've already become completely different people several times over,and yet we always remain quintessentially ourselves.Hmm.Our critique began as all critiques begin:with doubt.Doubt became our narrative.Ours was a quest for a new story, our own.And we grasp toward this new history driven by the suspicion...that ordinary language couldn't tell it.Our past appeared frozen in the distance,and our every gesture and accent...signified the negation of the old world and the reach for a new one.The way we lived created a new situation,one of exuberance and friendship,that of a subversive microsociety...in the heart of a society which ignored it.Art was not the goal but the occasion and the method...for locating our specific rhythm...and buried possibilities of our time.The discovery of a true communication was what it was about,or at least the quest for such a communication.The adventure of finding it and losing it.We the unappeased, the unaccepting continued looking,filling in the silences with our own wishes, fears and fantasies.Driven forward by the fact that no matter how empty the world seemed,no matter how degraded and used up the world appeared to us,we knew that anything was still possible.And, given the right circumstances,a new world was just as likely as an old one.There are two kinds of sufferers in this world:those who suffer from a lack of life...and those who suffer from an overabundance of life.I've always found myself in the second category.When you come to think of it,almost all human behavior and activity...is not essentially any different from animal behavior.The most advanced technologies and craftsmanship...bring us, at best, up to the super-chimpanzee level.Actually, the gap between,say, Plato or Nietzsche and the average human...is greater than the gap between that chimpanzee and the average human.The realm of the real spirit,the true artist, the saint, the philosopher,is rarely achieved.Why so few?Why is world history and evolution not stories of progress...but rather this endless and futile addition of zeroes?No greater values have developed.Hell, the Greeks years ago were just as advanced as we are.So what are these barriers that keep people...from reaching anywhere near their real potential?The answer to that can be found in another question, and that's this:Which is the most universal human characteristic--fear or laziness?What are you writing?A novel.What's the story?There's no story.It's just...people, gestures, moments,bits of rapture, fleeting emotions.In short,the greatest stories ever told.Are you in the story?I don't think so.But then I'm kind of reading it and then writing it.It was in the middle of the desert, in the middle of nowhere,but on the way to Vegas, so, you know,every once in a while a car would pull in, get gas.It was the last gas stop before Vegas.Office had the chair, had a cash register,and that was all the room there was in that office.I was asleep, and I heard a noise.You know, just like in my mind.So I got up, and I walked out,and I stood on the curb of where the gas station ends,you know, the driveway there.I'm rubbing the sand out of my eyes, trying to see what's going on,and way down at the very end of the gas station...they had tire racks.Chains around them, you know.And I see there's an Econoline van down there.And there's a guy with his T-shirt off,and he's packing his Econoline van...with all of these tires.He's got the last two tires in his hands,pushes them into the thing,and then I, of course, I go, " Hey, you!"This guy turns around, he's got no shirt on,he's sweating, he's built like a brick shithouse,pulls out a knife, it's inches long,and then starts running at me as fast as he can, going,I'm still--"This is wrong." I walked in,stuck my hand behind the cash register where the owner kept a. revolver,pull it out, cocked the trigger,and just as I turned around, he was comin' through the door.And I could see his eyes. I'll never forget this guy's eyes.And he just had bad thoughts about me in his eyes.And I fired a round, and it hit him. Boom. Right in the chest.Bang. He went-- as fast as he was coming in the door, he went out the door.Went right up between the two pumps, ethyl and regular.And he must've been on drugs, on speed or something, you know,because he stood up...and he still had the knife, and the blood was just all over his chest,and he stood up and he went like that, just moved a little like that.And I was pretty much in shock,so I just held the trigger back and fanned the hammer.It's one of those old-time-- Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!And I blew him out of the gas station.And ever since then,I always carry this.I hear that.A well-armed populace is the best defense against tyranny.I'll drink to that.And you know,I haven't fired this in such a long time, I don't even know if itl work.Why don you pull the trigger and find out?I'm not here. Leave a message.Hey, man. I guess you already took off or something.But, uh, remind me to tell you about this dream I had last night...'cause there's some really funny stuffin it.All right, man. Uh, I guess I'll catch you later. Okay.Bareback riding. Copenhagen William...and his horse Same Deal....for a hat band. Sew it into the inside of the--I do not await the future,anticipating salvation, absolution,not even enlightenment through process.I subscribe to the premise that this flawed perfection is sufficient and complete...in every single, ineffable moment.The Blonde Bee, the Firefly, Praying Mantis--...lunatic macaroni munchkin with my googat--...venerable tradition of sorcerers, shamans and other visionaries...who have developed and perfected the art of dream travel,the so-called lucid dream state...where, by consciously controlling your dreams,you're able to discover things...beyond your capacity to apprehend in your awake state.- Winning back-to-back-- - Tell us what Felix is doing--A single ego is an absurdly narrow vantage from which to view this-- this experience.And where most consider their individual relationship to the universe,I contemplate relationships...of my various selves to one another.While most people with mobility problems...are having trouble just getting around,at age joy Cullison's out seeing the world.Now I'm free to see the worldHey, how's it going?They say that dreams are real only as long as they last.Can't you say the same thing about life?A lot of us out there are mapping that mind/body relationship of dreams.We're called the oneironauts. We're explorers of the dream world.Really, it's just about the two opposing states of consciousness...which don't really oppose at all.See, in the waking world,the neuro-system inhibits the activation of the vividness of memories.This makes evolutionary sense.It'd be maladapted for the perceptual image of a predator...to be mistaken for the memory of one and vice-versa.If the memory of a predator conjured up a perceptual image,we'd be running off to the bathroom every time we had a scary thought.So you have these serotonic neurons...that inhibit hallucinations...that they themselves are inhibited during REM sleep.This allows dreams to appear real...while preventing competition from other perceptual processes.This is why dreams are mistaken for reality.To the functional system of neural activity that creates our world,there is no difference between dreaming a perception and an action...and actually the waking perception and action.I had a friend once who told me...that the worst mistake that you could make...is to think that you are alive...when really youe asleep in life's waiting room.The trick is to combine...your waking rational abilities...with the infinite possibilities of your dreams.'Cause if you can do that, you can do anything.Did you ever have a job that you hated and worked real hard at?A long, hard day of work. Finally you get to go home, get in bed, close your eyes.And immediately you wake up and realize...that the whole day at work had been a dream.It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for-- for minimum wage,but now they get your dreams for free.Hey, man, what are you doing here?I fancy myself the social lubricator of the dream world,helping people become lucid a little easier.Cut out all that fear and anxiety stuff and just rock and roll.By becoming lucid, you mean just knowing that youe dreaming, right?Yeah. And then you can control it.They're more realistic and less bizarre than non-lucid dreams.You know, I just woke from a dream.It wasn't like a typical dream. It seemed more like I'd walked into an alternate universe.Yeah, it's real.I mean, technically, it's a phenomenon of sleep,but you can have so much damn fun in your dreams.And, of course, everyone knows fun rules.- Yeah. -So what was going on in your dream?Oh. A lot of people. A lot of talking.Some of it was kind of absurdist, like from a strange movie or something.Mostly, it was just people going off about whatever, really intensely.I woke up wondering, where did all this stuff come from?- You can control that. - Do you have these dreams all the time?Hell, yeah. I'm always gonna make the best of it.But the trick is, you got to realize that you're dreaming in the first place.You got to be able to recognize it.You got to be able to ask yourself, " Hey, man, is this a dream?"Most people never ask themselves that...when they're awake or especially when they're asleep.Seems like everyone's sleepwalking through their waking state...or wake walking through their dreams.Either way they're not gonna get much out of it.The thing that snapped me into realizing I was dreaming was, uh-- was my digital clock.I couldn't really read it. It was like the circuitry was all screwed up or something.Yeah, that's real common. And small printed material is pretty tough too.Very unstable.Another good tip-off is trying to adjust light levels.You can't really do that.If you see a light switch nearby, turn it on and off and see if it works.That's one of the few things you can't do in a lucid dream.What the hell. I can fly around,have an interesting conversation with Albert Schweitzer.I can explore all these new dimensions of reality,not to mention I can have any kind of sex I want, which is way cool.So I can't adjust light levels. So what?But that's one of the things you do to test if youe dreaming or not, right?Yeah, like I said, you can totally train yourself to recognize it.I mean, just hit a light switch every now and then.If the lights are on and you can't turn them off, then most likely youe dreaming.And then you can get down to business.And believe me, it's unlimited.- Hey, you know what I've been working on lately? - What's that?Oh, man, it's way ambitious, but I'm getting better at it.You're gonna dig this. Three-sixty vision, man.I can see in all directions. Pretty cool, huh?Yeah. Wow.Well, I got to go, man.Okay, later, man. Super perfundo on the early eve of your day.- What's that mean? - Well, you know, I never figured it out.Maybe you can. This guy always whispers into my ear.Louis. He's a recurring dream character.Cinema, in its essence,is about reproduction of reality,which is that, like, reality is actually reproduced.And for him, it might sound like a storytelling medium, really.And he feels like, um-- like film--Like-- like literature is better for telling a story.And if you tell a story or even like a joke--"This guy walks into a bar and sees a dwarf."That works really well because youe imagining this guy and this dwarfing this bar.And it's an imaginative aspect to it.In film, you don't have that because you actually are filming a specific guy...in a specific bar with a specific dwarf...- of a specific height who looks a certain way, right? - Mm-hmm.So like, um, for Bazin, what the ontology of film has to deal--it has to deal with, you know, with--- Photography also has an ontology, - Right.except that it adds this dimension of time to it...and this greater realism.And so, it's about that guy...at that moment in that space.And, you know, Bazin is, like, a Christian,so he, like, believes that, you know--in God, obviously, and everything.For him, reality and God are the same. You know, like--And so what film is actually capturing is, like, God incarnate, creating.You know, like this very moment, God is manifesting as this.And what the film would capture if it was filming us right now...would be, like, God as this table,and God is you and God is me and God looking the way we look right now...and saying and thinking what wee thinking right now...- because wee all God manifest in that sense. - Mm-hmm.So film is like a record of God or the face of God...or of the ever-changing face of God.You have a mosquito. You want me to get it for you?- You got it. Yeah. - I got it?And the whole Hollywood thing has taken film...and tried to make it this storytelling medium...where you take these books or stories...and then you, like, you know--you get the script and then try to find somebody who fits the thing.But it's ridiculous.It shouldn't be based on the script.It should be based on the person, the thing.And, um-- And in that sense,they're almost right to have this whole star system...- because then it's about that person instead of the story. - Right.Truffaut always said the best films aren't made--The best scripts don't make the best films...because they have that kind of literary, narrative thing that youe sort of a slave to.The best films are the ones that aren't tied to that slavishly.So, um-- So-- I don't know--The whole narrative thing seems to me like--Obviously, there's narrativity to cinema 'cause it's in time,just the way there's narrativity to music.You don't first think of the story of the song, then make the song.It has to come out of the moment.That's what film has. It's just that moment, which is holy.You know, like this moment, it's holy.But we walk around like it's not holy.We walk around like there's some holy moments and there are all the other moments...- that are not holy, but this moment is holy. - Right. Right.And film can let us see that.We can frame it so that we see, like, "Ah, this moment. Holy."Like "holy, holy, holy" moment by moment.But who can live that way? Who can go, "Wow, holy"?Because if I were to look at you and let you be holy--I don't know. I would, like, stop talking.Well, you'd be in the moment. The moment is holy, right?Yeah, but I'd be open.I'd look in your eyes and I'd cry...and I'd feel all this stuff and that's not polite.It would make you uncomfortable.You could laugh too. Why would you cry?Well, 'cause-- I don't know.For me, I just tend to cry.Uh-huh. Well--Well, let's do it right now. Let's have a holy moment.- Everything is layers, isn't it? - Yeah.There's the holy moment and then there's the awareness...of trying to have the holy moment...in the same way that the film is the actual moment really happening,but then the character pretending to be in a different reality.It's all these layers.And, uh, I was in and out of the holy moment, looking at you.Can be in a holy-- You're unique that way, Caveh.That's one of the reasons I enjoy you.You can... bring me into that.If the world that we are forced to accept is false and nothing is true,then everything is possible.On the way to discovering what we love, we will find everything we hate,everything that blocks our path to what we desire.The comfort will never be comfortable for those who seek what is not on the market.A systematic questioning of the idea of happiness.We'll cut the vocal chords of every empowered speaker.We'll yank the social symbols through the looking glass. We'll devalue society's currency.To confront the familiar.Society is a fraud so complete and venal...that it demands to be destroyed beyond the power of memory to recall its existence.Where there's fire, we will carry gasoline.Interrupt the continuum of everyday experience...and all the normal expectations that go with it.To live as if something actually depended on one's actions.To rupture the spell of the ideology of the commodified consumer society...so that our oppressed desires of a more authentic nature can come forward.To demonstrate the contrast between what life presently is and what it could be.To immerse ourselves in the oblivion of actions and know we're making it happen.There will be an intensity never before known in everyday life...to exchange love and hate, life and death,terror and redemption, repulsions and attractions.An affirmation of freedom so reckless and unqualified,that it amounts to a total denial of every kind of restraint and limitation.- Hey, old man, what you doing up there? - I'm not sure.You need any help getting down, sir?No, I don't think so.Stupid bastard.No worse than us. He's all action and no theory.We're all theory and no actions.Why so glum, Mr. Deborg?What was missing was felt irretrievable.The extreme uncertainties...of subsisting without working...made excesses necessary...and breaks definitive.To quote Stevenson:"Suicide carried off many." Drink and the devil...took care of the rest."- Hey. - Hey.You a dreamer?Yeah.I haven't seen too many of you around lately.Things have been tough lately for dreamers.They say dreaming's dead, that no one does it anymore.It's not dead. It's just that it's been forgotten.Removed from our language.Nobody teaches it, so no one knows it exists.The dreamer is banished to obscurity.I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too.By dreaming every day.Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced. Ever.So whatever you do, don't be bored.This is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive.And things are just starting.A thousand years is but an instant.There's nothing new, nothing different. The same pattern over and over.The same clouds, the same music,the same insight felt an hour or an eternity ago.There's nothing here for me now, nothing at all.Now I remember. This happened to me before. This is why I left.You have begun to find your answers.Although it will seem difficult, the rewards will be great.Exercise your human mind as thoroughly as possible,knowing it is only an exercise.Build beautiful artifacts, solve problems,explore the secrets of the physical universe.Savor the input from all the senses.Feel the joy and sorrow, the laughter, the empathy, compassion...and tote the emotional memory in your travel bag.I remember where I came from and how I became a human.Why I hung around. And now my final departure is scheduled.This way out. Escaping velocity.Not just eternity, but infinity.- Excuse me. - Excuse me.Hey. Could we do that again?I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know?I mean, it's like we go through life...with our antennas bouncing off one other,continuously on ant autopilot,with nothing really human required of us.Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there.All action basically for survival.All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along...in an efficient, polite manner." Here's your change." " Paper or plastic?" "Credit or debit?""You want ketchup with that?"I don't want a straw. I want real human moments.I want to see you. I want you to see me.I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be an ant, you know?Yeah. Yeah, I know.I don't want to be an ant, either.Yeah, thanks for kind of, like, jostling me there.I've been kind of on zombie autopilot lately.I don't feel like an ant in my head, but I guess I probably look like one.It's kind of like D.H. Lawrence had this idea of two people meeting on a road...And instead of just passing and glancing away,they decided to accept what he calls "the confrontation between their souls."It's like, um-- like freeing the brave reckless gods within us all.Then it's like we have met.I'm doing this project. I'm hoping you'll be interested in doing it.It's a soap opera,and, so, the characters are the fantasy lives.They're the alter egos of the performers who are in it.So you pretty much just figure out something that youe always wanted to do...or the life youe wanted to lead or occupation or something like that.And we write that in, and then we also have your life intersect...with other people's in the soap opera in some typical soap opera fashion.Then I also want to show it in a live venue...and have the actors present so that once the episode is screened,then the audience can direct...the actors for subsequent episodes with menus or something.So it has a lot to do with choices and honoring people's ability...to say what it is that they want to see...and also consumerism and art and commodity.And if you don't like what you got, then you can send it back...or you get what you pay for,or just participating, just really making choices.- So, you wanna do it? - Uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds really cool.I'd love to be in it, but, um--Uh, I kinda gotta ask you a question first though.I don't really know how to say it, but, um--uh, what's it like to be a character in a dream?'Cause, uh, I'm not awake right now.And I haven't even worn a watch since, like, fourth grade.I think this is the same watch too.Um-- Uh, yeah.I don't even know if youe able to answer that question.But I'm just trying to get like a sense of where I am and what's going on.So, what about you? What's your name? What's your address?What are you doing?I-- I-- You know, I can't really remember right now.I can't really-- I can't really recall that.But that's beside the point...whether or not I can dredge up this information...about, you know, my address or, you know,my mom's maiden name or whatnot.I've got the benefit in this reality, if you wanna call that,of a consistent perspective.What is your consistent perspective?It's mostly just me dealing with a lot of people...who are...exposing me to information and ideas...that... seem vaguely familiar,but, at the same time,it's all very alien to me.I'm not in an objective, rational world.Like, I've been, like, flying around.Uh--I don't know. It's weird, too, because it's not like a fixed state.It's more like this whole spectrum of awareness.Like the lucidity wavers.Like, right now I know that I'm dreaming, right?We're, like, even talking about it.This is the most in myself and in my thoughts that I've been so far.I'm talking about being in a dream.But I'm beginning to think...that it's something that I don't really have any precedent for.It's-- It's totally unique.The-- The quality of-- of the environment...and the information that I'm receiving.Like your soap opera, for example.That's a really cool idea.I didn't come up with that. It's like something outside of myself.It's like something transmitted to me externally.I don't know what this is.We seem to think we're so limited by the world...and-- and the confines, but we're really just creating them.And you keep trying to figure it out,but it seems like now that you know that what youe doing is dreaming,you can do whatever you want to.You're, uh, dreaming, but youe awake.You have, um, so many options,and that's what life is about.I understand what youe saying.It's up to me. I'm the dreamer.It's weird. Like, so much of the information...that-- that these people have been imparting to me--I don't know. It's got this, like, really heavy connotation to it.- Well, how do you feel? - Well,Well, sometimes I feel kind of isolated,but most of the time, I feel really connected,really, like, engaged in this active process.Which is kind of weird because most of the time,I've just been really passive and not really responding,except for now, I guess.I'm just kind of letting the information wash over me.It's not necessarily passive to not respond verbally.We're communicating on so many levels simultaneously.Perhaps you're-- you're perceiving directly.Most of the people that I've been encountering...and most of the things that I would wanna say,it's like they kind of say it for me and almost at my cue.It's, like, complete unto itself.It's not like I'm having a bad dream. It's a great dream.But...it's so unlike any other dream I've ever had before.It's like the dream.It's like I'm being prepared for something."On this bridge," Lorca warns,"life is not a dream." Beware and beware and...beware."And so many think because "then" happens," now" isn't.But didn't I mention the ongoing "wow" is happening right now?We are all coauthors of this dancing exuberance...where even our inabilities are having a roast.We are the authors of ourselves,coauthoring a gigantic Dostoyevsky novel starring clowns.This entire thing we're involved with called the world...is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be.Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time...by moments flabbergasted to be in each other's presence.The world is an exam to see if we can rise into the direct experiences.Our eyesight is here as a test to see if we can see beyond it.Matter is here as a test for our curiosity.Doubt is here as an exam for our vitality.Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather participate in life...than write a hundred stories.Giacometti was once run down by a car,and he recalled falling into a lucid faint,a sudden exhilaration,as he realized at last something was happening to him.An assumption develops that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously.I do not agree entirely. Which is to say I do not exactly disagree.I would say that life understood is life lived.But the paradoxes bug me,and I can learn to love and make love...to the paradoxes that bug me.And on really romantic evenings of self,I go salsa dancing with my confusion.Before you drift off, don't forget.Which is to say, remember.Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting.Lorca in that same poem said...that the iguana will bite those who do not dream.And as one realizes...that one is a dream figure...in another person's dream,that is self-awareness.You haven't met yourself yet.But the advantage to meeting others in the meantime...is that one of them may present you to yourself.Examine the nature...of everything you observe.For instance,you might find yourself walking through...a dream parking lot.And, yes, those are dream feet inside of your dream shoes.Part of your dream self. And so,the person you appear to be in the dream...cannot be who you really are.This is an image,a mental model.Do you remember me?No. No, I don't think so.At the station?You were on the pay phone and you looked at me...a few times.I remember that, but I don't remember that being you.Are you sure?Well, maybe not.I was sitting down...and you were looking at me.My little friend, dream no more. It's really here.It's called Efferdent Plus.In hell, you sink to the level of your lack of love.In heaven, you rise to the level of your fullness of love.Hurry up! Come on! Get in the car! Let's go.Allegedly, the story goes like this.Billy Wilder runs into Louis Malle.This was in the late ' s, early ' s.And Louis Malle had just made his most expensive film, which had cost / million dollars.And Billy Wilder asks him what the film is about.And Louis Malle says, "It's sort of a dream within a dream."And Billy Wilder says, "You just lost / million dollars."I feel a little more apprehensive about this one than I did--Down through the centuries, the notion that life is wrapped in a dream...has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?That, after death, your conscious life would continue...in what might be called, "a dream body"?It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life.Except that in the post-mortal state,you could never again wake up,never again return to your physical body.As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle,being swept along is no longer enough.What's the word, turd?Hey, do you also drive a boat car?- A what? - You gave me a ride in a car that was also a boat.No, man, I don't have a boat car. I don't know what youe talking about.Man, this must be, like, parallel universe night.You know that cat that was just in here,who just ran out the door?Well, he comes up to the counter, and I say, "What's the word, turd? "And he lays down this burrito and he kind of looks at me, kind of stares at me and says," I have but recently returned from the valley of the shadow of death." I'm rapturously breathing in all the odors and essences of life."I've been to the brink of total oblivion.I remember and ferment the desire to remember everything."So, what did you say to that?Well, I mean, what could I say?I said, "If youe gonna microwave that burrito,"I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode.And I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings. You dig me?"'Cause the jalapenos dry up.They're like little wheels.When it was over, all I could think about...was how this entire notion of oneself,what we are, is just...this logical structure,a place to momentarily house all the abstractions.It was a time to become conscious,to give form and coherence to the mystery.And I had been a part of that. It was a gift.Life was raging all around me,and every moment was magical.I loved all the people,dealing with all the contradictory impulses.That's what I loved the most-- connecting with the people.Looking back, that's all that really mattered.Kierkegaard's last words were, "Sweep me up."- Hey, man. - Hey.Weren you in the boat car?You know, the guy-- the guy with the hat.He gave me a ride in his car or boat thing,and you were in the back seat with me.I'm not saying you don't know what you're talking about,but I don't know what you're talking about.No, see, you guys let me off at this really specific spot...that you gave him directions to let me off at.I get out and ended up getting hit by a car.But then I just woke up because I was dreaming,and later, I found out that I was still dreaming,dreaming that I'd woken up.Those are called "false awakenings." I used to have those all the time.But I'm still in it now.I can't get out of it. It's been going on forever.I keep waking up, but I'm just waking up into another dream.I'm starting to get creeped out too, like I'm talking to dead people.This woman on TV's telling me about how death is this dream time...that exists outside of life.I mean, I'm starting to think that I'm dead.I'm gonna tell you about a dream I once had.I know that when someone says that,usually youe in for a very boring next few minutes, and you might be.But it sounds like-- What else are you gonna do, right?Anyway, I read this essay by Philip K.. Dick.What, you read it in your dream?No, no. I read it before the dream.It was the preamble to the dream.It was about that book, Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said.- You know that one? - Yeah, yeah. He won an award for that one.Right. That's the one he wrote really fast.It just, like, flowed right out of him.He felt he was sort of channeling it or something.But anyway, about four years after it was published,he was at this party and he met this woman...who had the same name as the woman character in the book.And she had a boyfriend with the same name as the boyfriend character in the book.and she was having an affair with this guy, the chief of police.And he had the same name as the chief of police in his book.So she's telling him all this stuff from her life,and everything she's saying is right out of his book.So that's really freaking him out, but what can he do?And shortly after that, he was going to mail a letter,and he saw this kind of, um, dangerous, shady-looking guy standing by his car.But instead of avoiding him, which he said he usually would have done,he walked right up to him and said, "Can I help you?"And the guy said, "Yeah. I ran out of gas."He pulls out his wallet and he hands him some money, which he says he never would have done.And then he gets home and he thinks, "Wait a second.This guy can't get to a gas station. He's out of gas."So he gets back in his car. He finds the guy, takes him to the gas station.And as he's pulling up to the gas station,he realizes, " Hey, this is in my book too.This exact station. This exact guy. Everything. "So this whole episode is kind of creepy, right?And he's telling his priest about it,describing how he wrote this book,and four years later, all these things happened to him.And as he's telling it to him, the priest says, "That's the Book of Acts.You're describing the Book of Acts."He's like, "I've never read the Book of Acts."So he goes home and reads the Book of Acts,and it's, like, you know, uncanny.Even the characters' names are the same as in the Bible.And the Book of Acts takes place in A.D., when it was written, supposedly.So Philip K. Dick had this theory...that time was an illusion and that we were all actually in A.D.And the reason that he had written this book...was that he had somehow momentarily punctured through this illusion,this veil of time.And what he had seen was what was going on in the Book of Acts.And he was really into Gnosticism.and this idea that this demiurge, or demon,had created this illusion of time to make us forget...that Christ was about to return...and the kingdom of God was about to arrive...and that we're all in A.D. and there's someone trying to make us forget,you know, that--you know, that God is imminent.And that's what time is. That's what all of history is,this kind of continuous, you know, daydream or distraction.And so I read that, and I was like, "Well, that's weird. "And then that night, I had a dream,and there was this guy in the dream who was supposed to be a psychic.But I was skeptical. I was like, " He's not really a psychic."I was just thinking to myself.And then suddenly, I start floating,Like levitating up to the ceiling.And as I almost go through the roof, I'm like," Mr. Psychic, I believe you. You're a psychic. Put me down, please."And I float down, and as my feet touch the ground,the psychic turns into this woman in a green dress.And this woman is Lady Gregory.Now, Lady Gregory was Yeats' patron, this, you know, Irish person.And though I'd never seen her image,I was just sure that this was the face of Lady Gregory.So we're walking along, and Lady Gregory turns to me and says," Let me explain to you the nature of the universe." Now, Philip K. Dick is right about time, but he's wrong that it's A.D."Actually, there's only one instant, and it's right now."And it's eternity."And it's an instant in which God is posing a question."And that question is, basically, 'Do you want to, you know,"'be one with eternity?" Do you want to be in heaven?'"And we're all saying, 'No, thank you. Not just yet.'"And so time is actually just this constant saying no...to God's invitation.That's what time is. It's no more A.D. than it's you know?There's just this one instant, and that's what we're always in.And then she tells me that actually this is the narrative of everyone's life.That behind the phenomenal difference, there is but one story,and that's the story of moving from the "no" to the "yes."All of life is, " No, thank you. No, thank you."Then ultimately it's, "Yes, I give in.Yes, I accept. Yes, I embrace."I mean, that's the journey.- Everyone gets to the "yes" in the end, right? - Right.So we continue walking, and my dog runs over to me.So I'm petting him. I'm really happy to see him. He's been dead forbears.So I'm petting him and then I realize...there's this kind of gross oozing stuff coming out of his stomach.And I look over at Lady Gregory, and she sort of coughs.She's like-- "Oh, excuse me."And there's vomit dribbling down her chin, and it smells really bad.And I think, "Wait a second."That's not just the smell of vomit, which doesn't smell very good."That's the smell of dead person vomit.You know, it's, like, doubly foul."And then I realize I'm actually in, you know, the land of the dead.And everyone around me was dead.My dog had been dead over ten years. Lady Gregory had been longer than that.When I finally woke up, I was like, "Whoa. That wasn't a dream."That was a visitation to this real place, the land of the dead."- So what happened? How did you finally get out of it? - Oh, man.It was just like one of those, like, life-altering experiences.I could never really look at the world the same way again after that.Yeah, but how did you finally get out of the dream?See, that's my problem. I'm trapped.I keep-- I keep thinking that I'm waking up, but I'm still in a dream.It seems like it's going on forever. I can't get out of it.I wanna wake up for real. How do you really wake up?I don't know. I'm not very good at that anymore.But, um, if that what youe thinking,I mean, you probably should.If you can wake up, you should...because someday you won't be able to.So just, um-- But it's easy.Just--Just... wake up.Special help by SergeiKvia http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/w/waking-life-script-transcript-linklater.html